Marriage is no play. It must be planned. We cannot go through it, and follow the flow. Especially when the children come. We must also plan for their development. Their education. Their deen, especially. Often, most fathers, most mothers miss this. When it comes to education, all they think of was school, textbooks, Fardu Ain, and such. No! That was not all. Education is not limited to those mediums. On the other hand, it all begins from the parents themselves. The father and mother. Their home, for home is where the heart is.
Right from the very first time they open their eyes, since in time of infancy, babies learn by imitating their surroundings. Imitating their parents. Their siblings. How do we expect a child to grow up with parents that are not taking care of their own prayers? How do we expect a child to grow up in a house full of worldly entertainments and desires? How do we expect a child to grow up when they are not even taught to frequent the mosques to get close to Allah? It is all in the parents. What the parents are made of that make up the environment that the children will live in. If the parents are far away from Allah, they will mostly lead the children away as well. Poor children, they will be.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once said in a hadith narrated by Abu Huraira. "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser.” Four things, and Rasulullah p.b.u.h. emphasized on choosing the religious woman to be married. This might be simple to understand, but it truly means things much greater than that. A woman is not just a company to a man named husband. She is also the one who will bear the lives of future mujahideens for nine months and ten days. She is the one who will feed them lovingly, the one who will teach them to recite al-Quran, the one who will fill ad-deen into their hearts, and she is the one who will stay up all those chilly nights, worrying about her poor sick children. MasyaAllah! So strong a mother could be. So tough she could live, to help the pure children grow up, the right way that Allah wants. What if the mother is no pious? What will happen to the children? There is no need telling. It is obvious.
Be that as it may, it is not limited to the mother alone. The same goes to the father. The husband. Won’t a powerless man be embarrassed to dream of marrying such superwoman? Won’t a guy be embarrassed marrying such wife, if he cannot be as strong as she is? Won’t a husband be embarrassed not to be able to lead her, what more the rest of the family towards Jannah? So heavy the burdens of the parents, yet most of them overlook that. Do they even think of raising another al-Fateh? Another Imam Shafiee? It is all in the parents. Marriage is no play.
It gives birth to future ummah.